Doubt and fear and insecurities might kill you.
If you have been working somewhere–be it a job or business–the process of self-doubt and fear might lead you to trouble.
There had many times in my life when I have been facing the same.
Doubt brings fear, and fear brings worry. Fear, uncertainty, doubt affect you the most.
The more worries you have, the more your nervous system is affected and attacked.
When your head and heart are not on the same ground, you will lack your full potential of yours.
It may look like it is good, but the continuous state of fight and flight mode will cause anxiety, fear, confusion, and worry. This will keep your fight and flight nervous system (autonomic nervous system) on.
According to Dr. Joe Dispenza in his book (becoming supernatural)–the fight and flight nervous system was given to you to work for the danger at hand to be taken care of. Continuously keeping it on for most of the time will lead to mental, emotional, and physical diseases, too.
I am not an expert, but I have read that diabetes results from hypertension.
Have you faced a time when you decided and were repenting of the decision?
Or you have been in a state where you could not decide.
Did you ever get worried after purchasing a product worth $1000 or more and you got anxious as if you have purchased $100000 and still calculated, revisited, doubted, and got anxious about your decision?
Have you ever faced a time when you were working on a job/business–you attended to all the work but internally you were not present in the space fully?
Have you ever worried about your future too much–too much to the level that it became self-destructive for you and you wanted to come out of the situation?
I have faced all the above and I am sharing the resource so that it can benefit you the same.
The aim of sharing this piece of work is to have the practical steps to conquer doubts, fear, and anxiety.
Steps to deal with doubt, fear, and anxiety
The first step in working out for your situation is awareness. I got the awareness that I am feeling uneasy, and not able to move further even after 1-2 hours of thinking. No matter how many minutes/hours you got present in your situation, just be aware.
Be aware that you are facing this issue/problem and this is troubling you and you want to come out of this. You can keep sinking in the ocean of sadistic, anxious thoughts, feelings, and worries.
No matter how much you do not want that but you are in the loop. You are in the thinking-feeling loop. The moment you want to move ahead of this thinking and feeling loop–you will make the first attempt, i.e. awareness.
2. What is troubling you?
You just do not feel good about the things at present and you say to yourself, “I do not know why I am unhappy today.” Or you might have the real reason for the trouble. What is dislocating your peace of mind and making you anxious?
Once this awareness is reached, it achieves the maximum amount of work. It is like winning the half battle. People rarely know what is troubling them, as there are many thoughts and situations. If you can get to the source, you can work at it and get the results in your favor.
Now you need to get into the meat of the matter. What is troubling you? Recently I purchased a $1000 worth of laptop and the next day I could not deal with my thoughts. As I purchased it from an offline store and there was a deal online for the $100 headset–again and again thoughts were coming. “Why you did not go for the online option? There was a deal. Why you did not choose that option? You made a wrong decision. Now, what can be done? Even after knowing you made the wrong decision.” This is your little continuous inner voice backfiring you. I could not bear this little backfiring voice.
3. Write Your Thoughts
When you write your thoughts, you empty your mind. The moment you write your thoughts, your mind will find space and an outlet to get released. It is like meditation where initially you will get a lot of thoughts but later, after some minutes, when you allow all your thoughts to be there in the space. Slowly, all thoughts will settle down and you will have pure space in your mind. The non-indulgence with the thoughts will work wonders.
4. Calling/speaking to your support system
Whenever there is a lot of stress – always connect with your support system. Your support system could be your husband, wife, friend, parents, sibling, or anyone else. When you are so doubtful and fearful, you might not think clearly.
When emotions run high, intelligence runs low. So keeping the emotions in control will allow you to have a clear vision. Immediately during the day/night, speak your heart out to your support system.
There is no harm in getting support whenever and whatever age/situation you are. Even your age doesn’t matter. You just need someone to listen to you. Once you feel another person has heard you completely, the magic in the communication will happen.
5. Removing the image of the incident–Replacing it with another image
There might be something that might have been troubling you. The nature of your mind is to dwell upon the past or be in the future. If any incident that happened in the past or during the day is bothering you, replace that with other mental images of something that you want.
For example, if a car that needs to be fixed disturbs you, you can paint a mental picture of the car that you want to drive. If your boss shouted at you and all mental talks or images playing inside your head disturb you, replace them with the image of your boss giving you an award/appreciation. Who is stopping you from creating that new mental image? If you can accept the old mental image. You can accept the new one too. This is the key. I have used this and got the results.
6. Maximum, what can go wrong?
This is one of the earliest techniques even shared by Dale Carnegie in his book, How to win friends and influence people.
If you are worried about your work, future, career, money, job, or relationship at work and home, think what is the maximum that can go wrong? In the book, Dale Carnegie mentioned the story of the businessperson who was in the distribution of oil. One day, one of the Local government officials came to him and said about some wrongdoing by his associates for which they might prosecute him, or fine him by the law.
He kept on thinking the whole night what is the worst that can happen? He realized the worst that can happen is that he may be fined. The next day he went to the local magistrate and shared about the local government officials who visited him as he asked for money to cover up the wrongdoings.
The magistrate said to him not to worry as there is a crook they are searching for who is misleading people as a government official. Thinking about the worst-case made him realize it was nothing but sharing and action.
7. What is the possibility in which you are standing?
When you are doubtful, fearful, and unable to decide, you either stand in the possibility of doomsday/failure or you stand in the possibility of something magical.
Creating a possibility of wellness, the best future, and amazing results is a choice. You can also stand in the possibility of total disaster. The choice is yours. Which is the possibility you want to stand for.
8. Connecting to the superpower you believe in
There are various names for the superpower above you in various religions and faith. You can name that as a god, the almighty, universe, and many more. Where is your faith? Whatever supreme power you believe in, connects to that.
When you share your thoughts, feelings, and emotions with people, you will get their words. When you share your problem with the supreme, you will get blessings, faith, and power.
You might not get the immediate answer from the supreme as you talk to a human, but the confidence that you have shared with the highest authority will relax you. Whatever the case, it will help you.
9. Offering your worries to the superpower/divine.
It is like you have communicated your wish and shared your problem with the invisible power and soon it will be taken care of. Here, nothing will work except faith.
The two easy words, i.e. surrender and faith, are the most difficult. Understanding both words and getting them to the dictionary is very easy, but it might take a lifetime to get them into your being.
Surrender yourself to the divine. Trust that divine will take care. The only condition here is faith. Faith moves the world. If it is absent, rest. Everything is absent.
10. Mind breath awareness
When you are in a state of fear and thoughts have grabbed your mind, you are inside your head with a lot of noise. It is like you are in a crowd and people are shouting at you.
Inside you is your inner voice shouting–you should have done this. You should have done that. The event is living inside your mind and playing the movie inside your mind. This will lead to more of what you experience you do not want.
At this stage, be calm, close your eyes and focus on your breath. You can even do this with open eyes, focusing on your breath. This way, you will cut the thoughts off the mind and you will be in the present moment.
This will stop all horror movies in your head and bring you to the present moment awareness focusing on real life, not your real life.
There might be various days in your life, career, and relationships where you are frustrated, fearful, and uneasy. Your emotional imbalance is high on those days. Realize what is troubling you.
Once you know what is troubling you–start writing on paper. Vomit your thoughts out on the paper. After writing your thoughts, if you still feel nothing works out, connect with your source–your support system.
Try analyzing what can go wrong. What is the max that can go wrong?
What is the worst that can happen? Stop playing the doomsday movies in your mind. Connect to the higher power and bring mind breath awareness.