how to overcome phobia

Should I change my job? Who will be the new boss? How will I cope with the new environment?

What will I do in the future? The job opportunities are decreasing day by day and the cost of living is increasing. Will I be able to fulfill my aspirations? How will I cope with the future?

Thinking about a few things can make you fearful.

Why does the fear arise?

Sipping up a cup of tea you realize “ What is this bull shit I am thinking?”

You get fearful and anxious about the future.

There are so many thoughts in the mind that the thought pattern would look like this

You think that you are controlling your life through your decisions and for decisions you need thoughts. But are all thoughts equal and valuable?

“If You can change your mind, you can change your life.” William James

If you write your thoughts for 2 hours on a paper. You will see that there are many useless thoughts.  

You are Either in the past and trying to correct it or in the future painting a rosy picture of it.

You think about jobs disappearing, technology changing rapidly, education expenses increasing and the cost of living increasing rapidly but your present state is constant.

This brings worry, uncertainty, Survival thoughts, and many other useless thoughts.

Your past has a bigger part of life and there and many things that you want to change in that so it occupies a bigger part of your thoughts.

Your desired state of future is rosy but looking at the present state it seems tough and you keep on thinking. This creates fear and anxiety.

Most of the time you might be thinking why can’t my brain stop. Have you ever thought that?

How to overcome the fear arising out of thoughts?

  1. Stay grounded.
  2. Look at facts
  3. Listen to other people’s perspectives.
  4. Learn, Do and make mistakes. Life is not as straightforward as you think.
  5. Work on your useful thoughts
  6. Take breaks – Release your mind
  7. Be Yourself – Conquer Yourself rather than the world
  8. Make some rules in your life – Rules define and system
  9. Ask yourself what can you do to solve the problem not why should you do
  10. Be Unconventional

1. Stay Grounded

Many times in life you have the aspirations to touch the sky. There is nothing wrong in that but at least have your feet on the ground.

When you have your feet on the ground it is easy to think practical and worthwhile. It helps to eradicate a lot of wishful thinking automatically.

2. Look at the Facts

Most of the time in life we have assumptions rather than facts.

You may think that your boss wants to kick you out of the company. The reality could be, that he is interested in giving you higher responsibility so that you can grow in your career.

Your friend just came to you and said “You look good and your thoughts are awesome” and suddenly he asks for help. You may assume he wants to make use of you and so you try to leave the ground. The reality of the matter is – your friend wants to give you a treat because your words just helped him somewhere.

Your assumption killed the coming moment.

3. Listen to other people’s perspectives

When you are open you see life from different angles. Do not just have a “my way or highway” approach in mind.

Have mindful and meaningful discussions with people. Never knowing someone’s perspective may give you a new way to look at a particular matter or problem.

4. Learn, Do and Make Mistakes

Life is never as straight as you think. It is not defined in mathematics that A leads to B and B leads to C. It is topsy-turvy. You may face a wall after B and you feel the game is over.

Suppose you join a college and a day before decided to take a Paying Guest Outside and had total planning for it even a month ago. Suddenly on the day of shifting the PG owner denies you the occupancy for some reason. What will you do?

You can crib and cry and say all negative things to yourself. Or you can move ahead accepting life is never straight. Just learn, do and make mistakes.

5.  Work on your Useful Thoughts

Socrates in 15th Century Said “ I know one thing. That I know nothing.”

Descartes in the 7th Century said “Cogito Ergo Sum” “ I think therefore I am”

Thoughts are of two types:

  1. Useless
  2. Useful

This is nothing that you can do with useless thoughts. You simply need to ignore it. That is why it is said, “Overthinking Kills”.

The only thoughts you can control is your useful thoughts. These thoughts can help you to solve a problem.

6. Take breaks and release your mind

At a time after so much pressure and worry when fear captures you just take a break.

The moment you take a break, your mind is no more thinking about what will happen.

That’s where you will regain some strength.

7. Be Yourself

Most of the worries in life are due to fear of failure or fear of performance.

You want to prove something in front of others. You know your limits better.

You do not have to conquer the world. Just conquer your mind and be yourself. You are the best creation of the universe.

Work on your strengths and weaknesses and love yourself

8. Make some Rules in your Life

You might have hated rules in your life. In school and college, you loved to break rules.

Few rules can create a system in your life.

If you are worried about money – Create some money rules.

If you are worried about your health – create some health rules like – 

     1. I need to exercise 30 minutes a day.

2. I have to take as many calories as I can burn.

3. I will avoid fast food and snacks that have trans fats.

Rules will create a system and keep you in check. No more you will be worried about what you should eat and what you should not.

9. Ask Yourself what can you do to solve a problem

Whenever you are fearful about the future or facing a problem that is giving you a worry just ask what can you do to solve the problem?

Most of the time when you hit a wall – You say “Why”

Can you just shift the psychology to “How”?

The moment you move to how – You are working on the useful thoughts.

10. Be Unconventional

Traditional methods will give traditional results. Try thinking out of the box.

One problem can be solved with many solutions. Try looking at other possible options.


To remove your fears work on your useful thoughts and ignore your useless thoughts.

Sometimes solutions may come from other people.

Learn, do and make mistakes. Life does not always go straight.

When stressed out take breaks and release your mind from useless thoughts.

Be yourself and make some rules in your life.

By the way folks, a while ago I read a great book on “Thinking Straight” that may help you give more practical wisdom. This book has helped me to overcome unnecessary fears and worries.  

You can find it on Amazon here

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